Today has felt surreal, as I geared up to work from home L went back to work after some holiday. Although we live apart we speak every day, often see each other every day, we know each other better than anyone. Our friendship has seen us through a roller coaster of life events - many due to L’s tragic bad luck - and now we face Covid.
It felt surreal to know that I was sat at home safe, while L went to work. As I typed away on course content, I’m almost certain I won’t deliver, I imagined L walking the half empty hospital, inhaling the silence in acknowledgement of what is coming.
I will be honest I am scared that L will get sick, that any of my friends and colleagues will contract coronavirus and require medical intervention. Both my sisters are symptomatic and self isolated with their small children. I stood outside my sister’s house today pulling faces at my niece as I left books and food outside her house. She does not know I cried for her and her sister on Tuesday morning, she doesn’t need to know that, and my tears did not change the situation.
I am learning from my fear and my projections about the fundamental empathy and hope we share for the people we love and for the people we don’t even know. Yes, I feel a tad useless and lonely in my house (with the cat) but that does not mean I am alone.
What connects us is the ability to care for one another, to listen to and feel each other’s fears and needs. In these early stages where information is progressing daily taking the time to check in with yourself and other’s can feel like a task.
From the little room in my attic I reach out to you all. Make the time to acknowledge the people you love, feel what you are feeling, share you thoughts with them, ask them how they are.
How are you?
Wash your hands.
Rxx